A pessimist is someone who sees the negative aspect of things or believes that the worst will happen in a given situation. They are constantly looking for the detrimental scenarios and manage to find them most of the time. People who are naturally optimistic tend to make them uncomfortable or irritated. Does this sound like you? Read on to discover if you are indeed a pessimist and why it might not be such a bad thing…mostly.
You definitely don’t see the glass as half full, and you don’t necessarily see it as half empty. You are probably more concerned with whether or not the glass is clean and if the water came from a contaminated source, or not. While you are asking these important questions, the optimist is busy pounding the half portion of Adam’s ale and thanking Providence for the bounty. Who is more likely to end up with dysentery?
When it comes to interaction with others inhabiting this ball of water and rocks, you often feel that they were created (or evolved) solely to irritate you on a daily basis. All weaknesses, irregularities, foibles, and character flaws are immediately apparent to you. You continually guard yourself against treachery, manipulation, and flying kernels from someone eating corn on the cob. You are able to temper this with the knowledge that no one is perfect, and your own peccadillos are painfully obvious to you. The optimist believes that no one actually poops, and everyone has the best of intentions. They are the ones getting carjacked trying to give a dollar to the poor unfortunate soul loitering in a dark alley.
You eschew unconditional happiness and settle for not being struck by a commuter train or contracting leprosy. While the optimist is expounding on the merits of a “positive mental attitude” and skittles raining from the heavens, you are wondering what terrible life situation they are trying to hide. You are aware of your own moods and how they affect others but are uninterested in non-genuine displays or patronizing attitudes. What you see is what you get
Being a pessimist does not make you unfeeling or unsympathetic to others. You are often able to discern a deeper meaning in another person’s actions or words, even if they are trying to hide their true feelings. By always looking for the possible consequences of an interaction, you are able to avoid fake people with selfish intentions. When it comes to difficult social situations, laughter is only the best medicine if there is a shortage of strychnine, arsenic, and valium.
Being a pessimist allows you to take things that worry others in stride. Instead of expressing anger over the high price of fuel, you reason that we are just lucky the economy is able to survive the manic printing of dollars that has been occurring for years. You refuse to lose sleep over perceived social injustice, as the Yellowstone Caldera is way overdue for an extinction level event and will be the ultimate equalizer.
Being a pessimist does not make you a bad person. You simply evaluate the potential downsides of life and develop plans B through Q to deal with them. When optimists are continually incapacitated by life punching them right in the face, you are ducking and running because you saw the wind-up a mile away. If, however, all you do is bitch and moan about everything in your life without making any effort to improve it, you might be a fatalist. Nobody likes a fatalist.
Now that you are feeling smug about being a pessimist, I have some bad news. You will give up sooner than an optimist because you tend to see mainly negativity and futility. The Pollyannas will keep merrily pounding their heads against the wall long after you have called it quits. Their ability to see a positive outcome will spur them forward in difficult times. They will also live longer than you. Studies have shown that pessimists succumb sooner than optimists due to conditions caused by stress and anxiety. Thirdly, no one will want to be around you because you constantly crush their dreams and spotlight their flaws…you are a dick.
In conclusion, being a pessimist isn’t a horrible thing, as long as you don’t tend toward fatalism. It may be a valuable tool for evaluating people and situations, but you could also benefit by occasionally looking on the bright side. Don’t forget to enjoy the uncertainty of life by planning for every eventuality possible. Sometimes a half glass of water is just a small drink. Most importantly…don’t be a dick.